It seems like all my life was about finishing things… Finishing elementary school to go to secondary school. Finishing this to go to university, finishing tasks on my list, the project, the job, the meeting, …
Thinking back to it, it feels more like wanting it to be “over”, “off the list”. And there are still things I want to be over or simply finished.
It wasn’t until I trained with Integral Coaching Canada that I stared making a difference between “finished” and “complete”, that I thought about what it would take to feel complete and not just move on the the next task at hand. Completing is viewed in this method as an important integral part of a journey.
Today, I had one of those conversions we call “completion”, the conversation that marks the end of a coaching program for a client. The purpose is to honor all the way they have come, the effort, the sweat, the pain they have put into changing their way of being in this world, looking at the world. It is also the moment when we acknowledge each other for the journey we have travelled on together, where we honor the trust and bond that linked us for those months.
While I am happy to see that my client is stepping into their path in a new way, acting more freely, more in charge of their life, I also dread these conversations, because they mark the end of this coaching relationship.
So, what is so special about completing rather than finishing?
It means that we take perspective of all that has happened in an d around a coaching journey, we say thanks to each other and to ourselves. We make sure that we look back at where a client started and we take a look at what lies ahead. We say everything we want to say to feel that this journey ends for both of us with no open ends, that it feels round for both of us. And so, on my side, I’m fine to stay with this paradox of sadness over an end of a journey and happiness about a nice piece of human development. To feel how this work has made an impact one life and indirectly maybe many others.
This is how completeness feels for me: round, encompassing the past, the present and the future, connected in a new way.
For today, my practice is writing about the journey that came to an end and preserve it for moments of doubt about being able to make an impact.
As a practice for you: what would it take for you to feel something you do is complete rather than finished? Is it sharing it with someone? Is it putting it in an inventory of success stories? Is it simply taking a look back and remember where you started?
And I want to say thanks to this awesome human being I was lucky enough to accompany on his journey, for his openness, courage, trust and honesty!
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